Disney has an evil plan to throw STAR WARS at us until the end of time and space. I was offered a chance to go to the movies, and I took it.
Arranging this was an epic endeavour. I knew the day and the hour. Not the day of the movie's release. A few days on, to quieten the effect of the crowds.
The hour was early. I had to make many decisions the night before. Morning routine is fixed, but the commencement of morning routine is something I can shift around.
I made everything happen earlier. At 7.30 I was up and about to get through morning routine by 9.00 - the pick-up time. All the pills were delivered long before departure.
And I knew I might have to cancel. Unfortunate, as one of the guys went ahead and booked the tickets online.
No last-second illness or worries to deal with. Breakfast was finished, and away I went.
What happens if I am smeared across the landscape in a crash? Well, that'll be someone else's problem. I doubt my mother would long-survive my death. If I hadn't acted promptly over that fire, I'd not have long-survived hers.
My thoughts turned to the slight haze as we drove along. Is that a very mild haze, over there?
Aye.
Soon we were engulfed in thicker fog. And the grey wall reminded me of the fire. I thought it over. Could I have detected the fire more quickly?
No, I doubt that.
I'd set the heating blanket on. Then I went to boil a ten-minute egg. The heating element was on for ten minutes. My best estimate. Then we headed into the rapid series of events.
A stomach-settler, in the form of Alka-Seltzer. I gave my mother that in the room. Ten minutes of heating. No sign of trouble. Didn't see smoke emerging from the duvet. Certainly didn't smell smoke.
Thick fog. Reasonable speed. The worry that some lunatic will barrel into the back of us...and I'm in the rear seat. Staring at fog. Thinking of fire.
With the drink out of the way, only a few minutes passed. I like to think about two minutes. What changed in that time? As I left, the heating must've turned rapidly to overheating.
The only action my mother could take in that time would be...
Ah, how do I know? Her concentration is gone, so it takes a few minutes of staring around to focus on action. Ten seconds on this detail, ten seconds on that detail, ten seconds on the first detail again, ten seconds gathering thoughts, ten seconds scattering them again...
In that time, a few minutes, she managed to position herself next to the bed so that she could pull the duvet back. And that exposed the smoke.
She just found the fire more quickly. That's all. Maybe a minute more quickly. But a minute counts.
This examination of events came about when the guys turned up to go to the film. I was asked how I was.
Alive, after the fire drama. They'd have been annoyed, turning up to take me to the movies, finding a smoking ruin where the house was.
And in true fashion, with nothing to be done, they'd have gone to the movies. Tickets were ordered, after all. That's the guys for you.
Well, that's how I like to think they'd have handled my fiery death. Let us go and watch this movie - he was a big fan, and it's what he'd have wanted.
Fog. A dramatic journey, in winter fog, to see a movie. We passed through an empty landscape...grey, with glimpses of grass. Though I hadn't been to that venue, somehow I knew the route we'd take. And we took that route, into a countryside wilderness that was never more than a few minutes from civilisation.
Unless the car died on you. Then you'd be in a horror movie.
My conclusions? I love this time of year. Weather is unpredictable, and marvellous to stare at if you are warm indoors. We discovered the fire at the right moment. Smoke is not the same as fog. And, not to spoil the movie for you, but that impossible mission to steal the DEATH STAR plans...
No, I won't say. See for yourselves.
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