At an unknown point during the day, I realised the cared-for wasn't wearing her glasses. She'd sat them down, dropped them on the floor, misplaced them, really misplaced them, or really fucking misplaced them.
What did I learn? That I should pay attention to memory. My memory. When did I notice she wasn't wearing her glasses? Further into daily routine.
Journeys. From the side of the bed to the face. And from the bedroom to the bathroom. From the face to the edge of the bath. Back to the face and on the face for the rest of the day.
She'd moved from chair to couch when I noticed the missing glasses. Was she wearing them earlier? (No, but I couldn't be sure until I found them and then I'd piece the story together.)
If she wore them earlier, and she didn't leave the room, then...
They were in the room.
Unless she'd gone to the toilet, or walked very quietly into the kitchen.
Perhaps she opened the back door and took a step out. Then? Placed them on the sill outside. Possible. Highly unlikely.
I went with the notion that she wore them earlier. No need to check upstairs. (I checked upstairs.)
And I moved chairs. Brought a torch into the room, to slide a beam of light under assorted lumps of chunky furnishings.
This was the festive period, and in her move from chair to couch she'd harvested a few cards off the fireplace. Could she have removed her glasses and dropped them down the back of that?
Highly unlikely.
I tilted the fireplace and saw...no glasses. One rogue card, lying down there. I make a point of not placing the cards at the back of the fireplace.
But she takes cards down and "returns them to the exact spot they came from" and there's a risk that a card falls away as a result.
No glasses.
Definitely not in the room. And not on the sills. Not on the sills behind the blinds. In drawers? No. Actually in the spectacle case, which she recommends checking?
Of course not.
What do I find? Panties. When she's done with the panties, they are stuffed down the side of a chair or behind the sofa. This is a new habit. Instead of quite deliberately putting them in the washing machine, she sneaks them into unexpected places.
And I now check these unexpected places. Under the pillows in the bed. Inside the pillow-cases. Down the side of the bed, way in the gloom. And so on.
Looking for glasses, I uncover four pairs of pants. Knickers. The undergarments of a lady.
I point out the wisdom of putting the pants in the washing machine. She complains about this, and invites me to try them on. See how I'd like it if I had to wear them.
This offer is one I politely decline. I have no need to wear used scrunched-up knickers. This is a matter easy enough to settle. Just say no. Don't do druuugs, kids. Never borrow someone's used underwear.
At the close of the day, I stood at the top of the stairs and opened the cupboard. I needed a fresh towel. There, on top of the fresh towel, sat the glasses.
And on the towel behind, sat the fifth pair of pants.
This accidental investigation answered my question. Was she wearing the glasses earlier? No. From bedroom to bathroom, she'd stopped to hide a pair of pants and she sat her glasses down for reasons unknown.
It's important to go looking in all the obvious places. If I'd really concentrated, I'd have realised she hadn't worn the glasses at all. It's likely that she rose in the night, went to the bathroom, and ditched the glasses.
Trying to piece the timeline together. For other reasons, routine was different that day and all the towels were ready in place.
Knowing she'd never worn them that day, I'd have reasoned that the glasses were still upstairs. Hell, yes, true, I'd checked upstairs anyway...just not in the cupboard.
I spent an hour checking places in front of her. She kept saying the glasses wouldn't be here, there, or there. And I explained that this would be true, once I'd checked those places out and not before.
Then, upstairs, I didn't think of the cupboard. Normally I'd check all kinds of unlikely places. I even looked in the freezer, as I'd heard her rummaging around in the fridge.
Yes, I looked everywhere. And, in the end, I found the glasses. Right at the last gasp that night. But at least, in all that fruitless searching, I'd solved the mystery of the missing knickers. The underwear drawer did seem a touch understocked.
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