THE ANTIDOTE.

This is my writing blog. I’ll post stories here occasionally. If there’s an antidote, it’s trickling between my fingers and running down through cracks in the floor to sewers I’ll never relocate. Yep, that means I’ve been down those sewers before.

$%!&!

I expect to cause much pain through my choice of blog title. People in a rush to discover antidote will find themselves directed to a blog on writing – under the banner of two tubes of toothpaste fucking merrily away in a bathroom-themed BDSM dungeon.
   My advice is to phone for an ambulance. Don’t waste time Googling antidotes. What has this blog to do with the Bolivian Dental Society Meeting, I hear you say…
   I should set out what this blog is for. Give you the grand sweep. There isn’t one. I’m just going to post fiction now and maybe even again. Yep, that’s it. I hunted around for a writing group to go to. It shut down before I went there. So I came to the internet, thinking it would also shut before I reached the front door.
   Now I’ll lie and tell you that golly gee gosh wow I’m really excited to bring this writing blog to life. And why don’t we spell gee as jee for simplicity…
   I’d love to tell you that I have so much to talk about when it comes to writing. That’s another lie – I wouldn’t love to tell you anything…except maybe that I had Chlamydia if you were an enemy I once fucked in an unprotected moment of rash abandon.
   There’s no rash.
   I am sitting staring at this file knowing I backed myself into a jagged corner trying to be chatty on this blog. Every single fucking time I stared at a piece of blogging advice telling me to smile and be open and welcoming…
   Well. I just wanted to smash welcome smiling faces. What can I say? I was in a fucked-off mood. Every fucking time. So there’s no warm welcome to my blog. There’s a welcome. It’s perfunctory. This blog isn’t for people…
   I was trying to think of the people this blog isn’t for. This blog isn’t for people. Or for the goldfish of people. It might be for the kind of non-people who’d prefer to see my blog banner represented by a photograph of a goldfish floating at the top of its bowl while a sink plunger looms into shot from above. The water is streaky brown.