THE PRESERVATIVE QUALITIES OF CHOCOLATE UNDER COVER OF THE INTERNET.

I was fairly certain that chocolate, all sugared up, had strong preservative qualities.
   Chocolate's drive for self-preservation was as strong as, if not stronger than, that of your typical action hero. When I speak of the movies, and the action hero, I mean...
   Your typical mass-murdering bastard who shoots first, asks questions, shoots second, asks some more, then shoots again. He's the kind of guy who carries the arsenal other heroes kit up with halfway through a film.
   That guy.
   The guy who starts that way in the opening credits. Those credits. The sequence is included in the movie so we watch the contractually-obliged slaughter of the hero's entire family. By that, I mean everyone in his family and everyone who ever met his family.
   All must die before the action hero. He has this strong sense of preservation. The kind of preservation found in chocolate.
   I moved the sofa and found a chocolate button unmolested on the carpet. Yes, I ate that chocolate button. How long had it been lying there? Fuck knows.
   Under cover of the internet, I Googled the preservative qualities of chocolate. Many days later, I am still alive to tell this tale. Moral? There isn't one.
   I ate a chocolate button. Some of you will be shocked and repulsed to hear that. And to hear this...
   Tasty.