A MISPLACED BLOG BY A DISPLACED WRITER TYPING IN A CONFINED SPACE THE SIZE OF A MERE UNIVERSE. IF YOU ARE RUNNING AN AD-BLOCKER, YOU'LL MISS A FEW FEATURES LIKE THE FANTASTIC POLL. JUST SAYIN'.

Saturday, 30 March 2019

DEMENTIA CARE: DAY OF THE NOT-QUITE-TRIFFIDS.


Winter is behind us. Luckily, it was mild. Hardly any snow fell, and it didn’t last long. There wasn’t much in the way of ice, either. Why mention this? I’m considering obstructions on the path. Spring inevitably sprang, and foliage went and foliated.

How do these things affect the housebound? They don’t. Until the housebound has to leave the house. With a reduction of mobility, it’s important to keep remaining mobility on the go. The less you walk…the less you walk. Visits to the memory clinic have been by wheelchair for a good while now…
   That clinic sits at the centre of a peculiar tangle of unseen barriers. Too far to walk to. And by bus…too far to walk to, given that the bus dumps you around the corner from the hospital entrance. The walk to the clinic is just too damned far, defeating the convenience of going by bus in the first place.
   It’s easier to cut through the bumpy streets by human-powered wheeled transport. Setting up the wheelchair ramps? Big fun. So far, I’ve only had to contend with wind and rain. No wheelchair trips in heavy snow and ice. Light powdery snow, at worst.

All obstacles behind us, with winter swept away. Right? Wrong. Spring pushes plants from the edge of the path into the path. Fronds, leaves, branches, stems, planty bits, and ant-bedecked bobs. It’s all springing into action. Before, this wasn’t a problem.
   By high summer, you wended your way down the path. Step around the fronds. Slide past the flowers. Survive the ordeal and reach the path’s end. Call it a victory.

The wheelchair ramp fits the front door step. No plants there to provide obstruction. The back door carries a legacy to it. That legacy is the memory of planting flowers. The woman who planted them may occasionally remember putting those flowers in there.

Every year, as the seasons cycle through, bursts of memory fill the garden as flowers bloom from month to month. The first stirring of spring in the dying chill of winter is trumpeted by two flowers: the crocus and the snowdrop.

These plants obstruct nothing.

But the other plants stand in the way of the walking frame. And it’s the walker, the Zimmer, that transports the infirm from door to path’s end. From there, it’s a bit of assistance into a minibus and away the cared-for goes, on days out.

All through the winter, we coped with the frame and the December-bare path, the January winds, and no fucking ice. Day-trips went from one day a week to two days, and within a few months we’ll likely see that frequency rise to three days out a week.
   Time off at the weekends. With the new routine of day-tripping to deal with, my worst worry was winter weather. We sailed through the difficulties. And now, come spring, I found myself on my knees with a machete, hacking my way through the jungle in search of a lost temple.

There’s a strimmer, now. What a danger to life and several limbs. I have to dress like an astronaut to protect myself from this death-machine. I turned the plants into green soup, and spent three days picking lettuce from my back teeth.

The situation worsens as the year unfolds. I know what’s coming next. Attack of the plant monsters. I’ll fend the beasts off with grit, determination, and my service revolver. Remember this handy gardening rule. Don’t shoot until you see the greens of their aphids.

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