A MISPLACED BLOG BY A DISPLACED WRITER TYPING IN A CONFINED SPACE THE SIZE OF A MERE UNIVERSE. IF YOU ARE RUNNING AN AD-BLOCKER, YOU'LL MISS A FEW FEATURES LIKE THE FANTASTIC POLL. JUST SAYIN'.

Sunday, 1 March 2020

DEMENTIA CARE: BLOGGING ON DAY ONE.


The idea behind respite is simple: give the carer a break. During respite, the routine is to have no routine. And so…
   Yes, it’s my plan to post a blog close to the start of the month. This isn’t always possible. Today, by sheer coincidence, is the first of the month. It’s post now or much later. Respite is coming up again, and it’s a longer break than last time, so I won’t be doing routine carer things like writing in this blog.
   If I don’t blog right now, I can’t (won’t) blog on a break. Then the break is over. Followed by another break. That’s the problem with March. It’s hitting the end of the year for respite allowance. Coming into the system with most of the year behind us, we had the full allowance of days available…with the caution that we’d have to be careful with our days left in the time left. Book early, book often.
   I feel if I blog between the breaks that are left, I’ll be too far into the month when writing about being a carer. Yes, I’ve been forced to delay blog posts before. No, the world won’t end if I can’t get anything written promptly – I have other priorities.
   There are things I could write about, should write about, but I have one eye on being a carer and one eye on upcoming respite, and a third eye on possible mutations.

Have we lost any clothes after respite? No. We’ve gained clothes. Once, actually worn home. And twice, but hidden away inside the travel bag. The most unusual thing to happen so far was the misappropriation of a perfume bottle.
   I don’t know how that makes its way from one visitor’s room to another visitor’s room. But I’ll take a mild guess. There are long hallways in the building, leading to residential rooms. And there are communal areas.
   Pass-the-perfume-parcel most likely goes like this…
   A guest carries the perfume bottle to the communal area and sits it down. Later, a member of staff sees the item out of place, and engages in conversation with my mother. The wrong guest.
   “Is this yours?”
   “Aye.”
   You could hand my mother the rudder of the Titanic and she’d lay claim to it.
   “Is this fragment of a cybernetic arm from a post-apocalyptic hell, propelled back in time and severed by Linda Hamilton, yours?”
   “Aye.”
   “Would you like me to put it in your room for you?”
   “Aye, okay.”
   “You’ll see it later.”
   “Aye. I’ll be back.”
   Anyway, the trip goes something like that. Minus the cybernetics. I don’t think a walking frame counts as cyber-enhancement unless it has batteries for a phone link. The journey is straightforward. From bedroom to main room to another bedroom.
   As these respite trips are all scrunched together at the end of the financial year, it’s easy enough to return not too long after the last short trip, and hope that the wayward item jogs a staff-member’s memory.

Last time around, I made the point of buying in new socks. Furry socks. Padded. Easy on the feet. Coming away from respite, I found thin ankle socks had sneaked aboard the travel bag. At least I am keeping on top of detail.
   The worst thing would be to come back with the wrong person and not notice for a week or two. This is unlikely, as I am responsible for administering pills on a daily basis, and, if any problems over identity arise, then I’m destined to notice at the pill-giving stage.
   Or at least, I’d like to bloody well think so.
   Preparing to abandon routine has a routine all to itself. I have a lot to cram in, and I considered sacrificing this blog-writing time. But…no. I want this blog post to go out right at the start of the month. Then I don’t have that blogging routine to come back to, just after one break and right before another.
   Phone calls go out to the people who need to know. In addition, other people need to know in person. A mini-bus won’t call. Daily carers go elsewhere. Nurses who turn up randomly will be told there’s no one to run blood-tests on. Unless they want to drive to the back of beyond, of course.
   A driver is arranged well in advance, so that we can drive to the back of beyond. I’ll say this of the weather – it hasn’t affected a single visit. We’ve had more rain than there is in creation. New records for the time of year. And the time of year is spring struggling to turn under a winter blanket.
   Snow hardly falls. I prepare for it anyway. Shovels stand ready. Salt is there in a big tub. I keep the path clean and clear of obstacles. Spring is starting to throw foliage up at the path’s edge, and I’ll take care of that before it turns into a wall of thorns.

I must forcibly remind myself to mention no pick-up for the daycare bus. This saves a telephone call. That’s part of the routine. I ordered pills in a week early so we’d have no trouble crossing from one month’s delivery to another month’s batch while respite happens.
   The pill thing was complicated by a non-delivery. When an item isn’t in stock, I don’t receive a phone notification at the usual time to go and pick up the pills. Instead, there’s a delay, even when almost everything is sitting there waiting.
   Here, the hope is that the pharmacist will take delivery of the late item and then send one message over the phone. But I can’t bank on that delivery. The order is expected on a Friday. Reduced service on Saturday. No service on Sunday. Hectic day on Monday. What to do?
   Chance the delivery on Friday. Head out into stormy weather, waterproofed to the gills, and believe in my heart of hearts that most of the delivery is there.
   This is part of the routine of preparing for respite and a break with no routine at all.
   I went out into heavy rain, with a huge backpack. Lots of rain protection. The rule of the pharmacy is that, no matter the pharmacy, it is illegal to swing a cat in one.
   My huge order was there. I slapped the huge order into my waterproof bag with all the skill of a mountaineer stashing supplies. And I didn’t poke an eye out or collapse a single lung while in the legally-required tiny space that is your average pharmacy.
   Usually, I’m told if an item isn’t there. But I knew something was up. My Spider-Sense was tingling. I sensed a spider. There’s always a spider. Spider-sense is pretty useless.
   At home, I decanted the huge order of pills. One item missing. The least-essential item on the list, fortunately. There it wasn’t.
   I couldn’t wait over the weekend to discover, say, that the entire order hadn’t gone through. In horizontal rain, under a battleship sky, I plodded along, to find out what was wrong. Supply problem.
   The pills are all ready to go away to respite. No mistakes there. They must go out in their boxes, with the labels on them, for insurance purposes – administration, as well as for purposes of administering.

There comes a time when I leave the respite place. Always a wait, while pills are processed and last-second questions come up. I get into the car, and drive off. Not always directly home. After all, the point of respite is to throw routine out of the window.
   Trips to and from respite are as random as random can be. The care money doesn’t pay for the trips immediately. There’s always a wandering time-lag before a bill pops through the letterbox. With so many trips happening in short order, the bills sometimes arrive together, proffering their own individual visitor cards as they land, cold and wet, in the hall.
   Here’s an exception to the notion of no routine during a respite break. I can and do receive bills while I’m on respite. Those I pay right there and then. Done and dusted. I don’t think of paying bills as being part of carer routine, even when they are precisely part of carer routine. Bills never stop being bills while you are on holiday.
   What do I do on a break? It’s all about what I don’t do. I don’t time anything. Everything. I don’t time everything. And I don’t throw careful timing away to deal with a random emergency, either.
   In the past week, I discovered two broken pieces of electrical equipment. I replaced both on the same day, or made a plan to replace something as soon as the postie would carry it to me. Random. Threw my plans out of joint. But fixing things is important.
   After dealing with a random electrical fire, it was more important than ever to replace a thing when the thing went wonky. Will I replace anything while I am on respite break? My sanity.
   I am more likely to notice things that need fixing when I go around doing routine bits of this and that. But here’s another exception. If, on my respite travels, I notice something needs fixing, I will fix it. Electrical faults don’t stop being electrical faults while you are on holiday.
   Cake doesn’t stop being cake when you are having a break. I’ve ordered one in. It’s a burden to consume, I know, but sometimes holidays are hard work. I’ll suffer through the experience.

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